An intention for joy and happiness.

Hello again! Here we go…

This morning I was reflecting on some hard things I’ve done in my life. I was also reflecting on some pretty cool achievements. And I just wanted to take a moment to say that I will be adding our Dogs & Mindfulness newsletter to my list of things I’m proud of.

This is our 10th edition! That seems like a milestone worth celebrating!

Sometimes I still ask myself what my motivation is for these writings. They are a lot of work, and they open me up to feeling very vulnerable. I’m sharing bits about my life while still recognizing that I’m not everyone’s cup of tea. And, anytime we put ourselves out there…well, there is always a risk of being judged and criticized.

I learned a long time ago that staying in my comfort zone isn’t going to get me anywhere. Growth happens when I become uncomfortable. And, let me just say…this newsletter and the corresponding Instagram page are SO far out of my comfort zone that I can’t even believe we are doing this.

But, Blue and I have talked about it. And, we plan to keep showing up, writing our stories. Our motivation: well, it’s fun to create something, and we hope to add some good vibes to those whose paths we cross.

What is happening?

In the last few months Blue and I have visited his doctor’s office more times than I can count. Tummy issues requiring a prescription diet, ear infections, a skin infection, skin allergies, allergy shots…

Then, three weeks ago…an allergic reaction. An anaphylactic reaction to be specific.

His symptoms: Vomiting. A huge - and I mean huge - lump of edema on his neck. An incredibly inflamed and angry ear. Lots of itchiness. Very restless and uncomfortable. And, spreading edema to his body and muzzle.

Blue didn’t know what to do with himself. And, looking into his soulful eyes I could see that he was asking “what is happening?”...

At one point he looked up at me and I couldn’t believe what I was seeing—Blue’s muzzle—his sweet little face and cheeks were so swollen. My mind was trying to discern what was happening.

I put my fingers in his mouth and started feeling around. I could not believe how enlarged and firm his cheeks were from all of the edema. (Blue is used to me brushing his teeth and moving his lips and cheeks around…so he tolerated this like a champion.)

After our rushed trip to his doctor’s office, medications, and another follow up visit…we are so happy to report that Blue has recovered well and is back to his normal self!! Smart, funny, incredibly empathetic, and a total handful. He is truly a gift from God.

Since the day of his allergic reaction, Blue has been on a round of steroids. And I can report that he has been a little drinking and eating machine! (A peeing machine too!)

Probably not the best time to work on the “leave it” command. But, naturally that is what our professors have called for in several of our most recent classes.

—Our professors throw out treats all over the floor to add additional distractions. And, our dogs are expected to ignore the treats…they are expected to “leave it”.

We are NOT excelling at this.

So…Blue and I have been working on “leave it” in our daily, home training sessions. I ask Blue to “sit” or “down” and then “wait”. And, I walk away from him. I put treats in the middle of the floor and then walk to the opposite side of the room and call him. And as he approaches the treats…I ask him to “leave it”.

But, Blue and I have been having some misunderstandings. And, I have to take some responsibility for my unclear communication…

—Because when I repeatedly say “leave it!” with as much enunciation (and increasing volume) as I can muster…every time it seems as though Blue hears “EAT IT!”—So, he runs toward me with increasing speed and approaches the treats like he is sliding into home base, face first…mows the treats down, and then jumps up and continues to run toward me!

The steroids are clearly not helping this situation either!

My husband was observing the interaction one day and he said it reminded him of the SNL Fries skit..

—The skit features Chris Farley, David Spade and Adam Sandler. They are all dressed as women who are sharing french fries. Chris’s character is having more than her fair share of fries…and when questioned by her pals…she gets a dark look in her eyes and a very deep tone in her voice and loudly says:

“Lay off of me I’m starving!”

In all fairness to Blue…if you put a piece of chocolate in front of me and ask me to “leave it”...well, I think you would just be disappointed in my choice.

Recently, I’ve started to approach these at-home training sessions by putting a leash on him. And as I call Blue, I ask him to “leave it” and offer some leash guidance if he seems to be nose diving to the treats.

What I’ve noticed is that Blue has started going around the treats. It’s brilliant. He avoids the temptation. Sort of like - if I don’t want to eat chocolate…I better not bring it into our house!

So, Blue and I will continue to work on the “leave it” training sessions at home. And, I’ll hope for the best the next time our professors throw treats all over the floor!

My sweet little chipmunk.

Blue and I are having daily conversations around my desire for him to NOT turn into a chipmunk again. I joke and tell him that “it is an infraction of our house rules..and simply won’t be tolerated”.

But the reality is Blue’s allergic reaction felt very scary. And, I have found my thoughts and emotions all over the place:

How can I protect him so this doesn’t happen again?

How can I best show up for Blue if it does happen again?

What if next time is even more severe?

What if I can’t help him?

Fear…

Fear that wakes me up at night. And fear that takes my breath away.

And, then my mind races to other worries too…one worry leads to a million more.

Mindfulness.

This is what I know:

- Mindfulness has not silenced my worries. But, it helps me to have an awareness of what is happening.

- Mindfulness helps me recognize when my thoughts are spiraling and when I’m stuck in the “what ifs”. That is not to say it is easy for me to get out of—But awareness is at least a starting point.

- Mindfulness helps me recognize what emotion is holding my attention. In this situation (like most situations for me) it is fear.

- And, mindfulness helps me balance that fear by intentionally turning toward joy and happiness.

One of the misunderstandings of mindfulness or mindfulness meditation is that suffering is the focus. And, I’m not sure that anyone wants to spend their time suffering.

But what is so great about mindfulness is that we can actually use it to cultivate joy and happiness.

There are two kinds of happiness:

1. Happiness with a cause. It’s that piece of chocolate that I crave and can’t resist. Am so happy to get. And, then it’s gone along with that moment of happiness.

2. Happiness without a cause. Happiness for no reason—it’s not dependent on anything. This is the freedom I search for.

We all know that the more we practice something the better we get…

The more we practice worrying, the better we get…And, I’m a freaking rock star when it comes to worrying! It’s been a habit since I was a little girl. The more you practice a habit, the longer it sticks with you and the harder it is to break.

But if we turn our attention to what brings us joy and happiness, then that can become our habit as well.

The intention of mindfulness is not to eliminate anything - the intention is to become more whole.

I recently led a meditation focusing on joy and happiness. And, I wanted to share a bit of it here. I invite you to give it a try:

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Can you find a comfortable posture where you can feel both alert and relaxed?

- Perhaps sitting in a chair with your feet flat on the ground, your back straight and attentive...

- Closing your eyes if that feels comfortable to you…

Can you allow a little grin to form on your face? And notice how this smile affects your mind…

Take a few deeper breaths…

- Can you bring a calming energy into your body with each inhale?

- Can you bring a little relaxation with each exhale?

- Just notice the natural rhythm of your breath…

Now, can you bring to mind something that brings you joy?

- What brings you joy or a feeling of well being?

- Notice how that feels in your body and your mind…

Now bring to mind a blessing in your life…someone or something you are grateful for…

- Can you let the feeling of gratitude flow through your body?

- And, can you offer a silent thank you from your heart?

Can you stay with this meditation for a few minutes…just bringing to mind blessings that bring you joy and happiness? Blessings that you are grateful for….Offering a thank you from your heart…

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When I practice this meditation, I am reminded that I have so much to be grateful for. So many things that bring me joy and happiness. My little family, the Light that Blue brings with him every time he walks into the room. Our family and friends. The list is truly endless…

And, I imagine what Blue is happy for: belly rubs, car rides, a king size bed he hogs at night, a comfy couch to relax on, his humans who love him dearly, his friends. Treats. Cheese. TURKEY!…I believe his list is endless too!

An extra bit of happy.

Blue and I wanted to introduce you to one of his classmates, Porter. Porter and his mom are such a sweet team. Porter is a black, flat-coated retriever. The AKC describes his breed as the “Peter Pan” of dogs…they never grow up. Porter is also a therapy dog—he brings lots of love, support, and smiles to the community.

“He’s usually very good in class (lots of treats) and can be very silly and stubborn at home, but he’s always sweet and happy.” - Porter’s mom

As far as Porter being stubborn—well, I’m just not sure if I can buy that. (Though, I have on occasion witnessed Porter’s mom giving him the “mom look”…to which Porter seems completely unfazed!) Honestly…he is just perfect. And, Porter and his mom are totally smitten with each other. It’s so sweet!

When we practice meet and greets in class, I always look forward to saying “hello” to Porter. He gets excited and LOVES to give kisses. His communication of affection is so endearing. He spreads his puppy-like joy to those he greets. And, it makes me happy every time!

Just a few more things:

Blue and I will leave you with one of our favorite quotes. (These words hung on a wall in my orthodontic office for years…and now they hang in our home.)

“When I was five my mother always told me happiness was the key to life. When I went to school they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn't understand the assignment. I told them they didn't understand life.”

- John Lennon

Blue and I are slowly getting our Instagram account going. Please feel free to check it out. It’s super simplistic right now - but we may start to post some photos like the real Instagrammers do. Baby steps!

IG: @dogsandmindfulness

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Until we write again,